(Christian non-profit) to verify. Derick was sure all along! January 1st 2006 we were in India and I got this promise that God had given Sarah in the Bible, that she would be fruitful and have a seed. Here is the link to that verse: The Symptoms
I was teaching full-time Spring 2006, so was pretty busy and on my feet constantly. I found cheese and salami as my “no-nos” for morning sickness. I never vomited except twice, both times for food poisoning. I’m so glad God protected Raja from this!
June 1st, my first day of summer vacation, I started walking daily. I increased to 30 minutes per day up until the day Raja was born! My sister-in-law, Premila, in India said, “be active!”
This is a picture of Premila with her kids, Melu(5) and Alu(3)
Symptoms of pregnancy for me included: some tiredness, swelling in one foot only and other standard symptoms. I tried different things for the swelling such as drinking lots of water, massage, and elevation above the heart. I was really blessed overall and give God the glory! Weight gain? About 17 pounds.
Health Insurance or Why-we-change-jobs-in-america
One faith building experience for Derick and I was having (uh, not having) health insurance that covered me. At the time, Derick was working for Blue Cross and Blue Shield health insurance Company!!! He had an individual plan that wouldn’t cover me. When we applied for different plans, I was labeled with a “pre-existing” condition and thus turned down! Meanwhile, Derick had applied for his green card. One Friday afternoon, we received Derick’s green card in the mail, he got a new job and I got health insurance! I went to the OBGYN asap and I was 17 weeks pregnant at the time. She asked me if I was taking pre-natal vitamins, yes I was, and then said she was going to take the first sonogram – I hadn’t missed a thing! God’s timing is always perfect. He stretched our faith through this experience. I knew He’d be near us all the way!
East to West- A Culture Shock (walk)
Since this is a true story, I must confess my trepidation at being a mom. Although I’ve dreamed of it all my life, it still felt daunting and overwhelming to me. Perhaps my American outlook helped color this illusion. Let me just mention some differing perspectives on family life, for literally for me “East meets West” is a daily experience (If you have heard of Ravi Zacharias, the christian apologist, this is the name of his latest book - Walking from East to West). 
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Dinner at 6:00 pm sharp, are you crazy???
When you tell friends “come home!” they will – anytime
You never need a reason or invitation to stop by
Open door policy is always enforced
Who really plans anyway????
Call first? Who does that?
Thank you cards? A Hallmark invention
Sharing is a way of life
Belongings belong to everyone!
Try chai, or anything I’ve prepared, there’s always food to share
“How is your health?” “How are your parents?”: two frequently asked questions
Without your cell phone, how do you exist?
This is only a sampling! But maybe you get my point! Indians are all about community! And what a richness of relationship they offer to me. This is a story about David Raja, but I want to introduce you to the setting into which he was introduced! For my American friends, I want to stress what Indian culture has meant to me and how it is affecting our little family (or BIG family, we have lots of relations, as evident in this 2005 pic with one family of Derick's Aunty!)
The FamilyFamily life is very important to us and we were both raised similarly. Both of our dads were engineers working for aircraft companies and both of our moms were schoolteachers. I am the oldest of four children
and he is the youngest of four children. Our parents raised us to honour God through their godly example, to work hard, to place family in high regard, and to pursue our dreams. We both possess a love and talent for music, a witty pun-bentness (is this a word?), and a desire to love and serve others, an enjoyment of homemade food, and a deep reverence for Jesus, our Saviour. 
What this practically means is that we are sharing our talents and ourselves with others. We love having people over for meals and music sharing, we share God’s word with friends, we open our home to people in need of a place to live, and we laugh and joke (almost) constantly. I am learning that I don’t have to have a perfectly manicured house before people come over, that time with others only enriches the time we have alone together, and not planning my day entirely opens a flexibility to meet others’ needs at a moments notice. For me, this all requires faith in God that following my husband is His perfect will for me. Like Ruth said to Naomi in the Bible (King David’s own great-grandmother!) “Your people will be my people, your God will be my God, and where you go, I will follow.” Literally, that’s also my outlook on life. I love and accept my Indian husband and am open to whatever that entails. Derick has taught me these two principles: People are more important than any possession and Do all for the sake of relationship.Maria and Us
Before Raja came we spoke a lot of how we wanted our own family life to be. We knew it would be a blend of our two cultures. It started with plans for family help from India. Derick’s sister, Maria, came one month before Raja’s birth and is staying six months (as much as an Indian visa allows). Normally, Derick’s parents would come, but in this case, Amma’s (Derick’s mom) health has been of some concern. In their stead, they sent Maria
. Maria has helped with her other nieces and nephews, so she has been a big help to me! Maria has cooked yummy Indian dishes and helps me with the baby. It has been wonderful to have “adult conversation” and I’m learning more and more family stories! She’s teaching me recipes, too and we love doing house and craft projects together. My mom was able to stay with us for one full week after the birth and now we call each other regularly and see her once a week. She has been helping with certain sewing projects and loves holding the baby!To Roll or Not To Roll
Derick also wanted our baby to stay in our room with us and share a family bed. I have to admit at first I was nervous. What if he or I roll over on him in the night? Well, I’ve found that if he’s not nursing (which is awesome laying down!), he sleeps in the crook of our arm and thus, it’s impossible to roll on him! During the day, he naps alone, so nighttime is family time! Derick was raised this way, so I trust his judgment.
The Days before Raja
During the pregnancy, we tried to do plenty of fun things we weren’t sure would be possible to do after the birth. For example, we traveled twice to Atlanta to visit friends, went to Disney in Orlando, (See Below- From L-R clockwise: Andre, Sandy, Shivani, Derick and Me)
a weekend in Daytona Beach, Amelia Island one day, the beach, movie theatre, a Shakespeare play, a symphony concert, an art museum, a favorite bookstore, and out to eat!
A Mild Shock - but God is always in control
I had a healthy pregnancy, although there was one scare. I was visiting the OBGYN one day where we unsuccessfully detected the baby’s heartbeat. My doctor was afraid the umbilical cord was around the baby’s neck…. So, I spent the rest of the afternoon in the hospital. They put a heart monitor on me and one on my tummy (for the baby). I watched the screen for signs of stress on the baby during my heartbeats. Thank the Lord everything was really fine after all!
The Baby Shower
My two sister-in-laws (or sisters-in-law, to be precise), Maria and Juliana, 
plus mom and my maid of honour, Jodi, planned my baby shower! The food was a blend of Slovak dishes (Juliana), Italian (Jodi), Indian (Maria) and American (mom)! The walls of dad’s church hall were draped in colorful Indian saris! Yes, it was my one request as it had been my idea for Derick and my rehearsal dinner for our wedding, which was in this same room! They “decked the halls” more beautifully than I could’ve imagined! 
What a precious time! My “job” which I had volunteered myself for was table centerpieces. I had availed the services of my previous employer to order the very special orchids. I didn’t anticipate the cost, though. Oh well, it’s my baby shower! Anyway, I had a grand plan that fell through. I had gotten to the church early to assemble these and looked in the car and saw everything was there except… the flowers! Too late, no driving back home now… I had to swallow my pride and do without them at the shower. The Lord reminded me again, “people are more important than any possession!” So, with a genuine smile, disappointment now fleeing away, I enjoyed the shower and the beauty of the saris on the walls, colorful tablecloths and the wonderful fellowship with family and friends! At home that night, I made up the arrangements as “thank you's” for those who helped and Maria and I delivered them next day! What did they look like? Small clay pots I had painted gold and applied gold glitter, one long stem fuchsia dendrobium orchid, a large single acid green cynbidium orchid bloom on a bed of green moss, and green and orange-variegated leaves and grasses… Maria and I tied red “thank you” tags I had calligraphied. What a joy to bless friends for the help they were! Since Derick and I wanted to be surprised as to the sex of our child, the most popular game at the shower was guessing the sex as well as other vitals. I kept the results so to gift the person closest to the real thing! Mom said a moving prayer for the baby, not forgetting to pray for David’s future salvation and spouse! Jodi read an old poem on being a mother, and Juliana spoke from her heart on the joys of mothering. One comment that made an impact on me was that we shouldn’t complain of the discomfort of pregnancy or birth because many women would love to have a baby and cannot.
Two weeks before the due date (October 27), my cervix was dilated three centimeters. This was the same the next week. My doctor asked if I’d like to be induced. Derick and I had already discussed that we wanted the baby to come on God’s timetable, so I told the doctor “no”.
Barret and Andreas Wedding-One Day before Raja's Birth
Derick was asked to be a groomsman for our dear friends Barrett and Andreas wedding October 22nd. 
He was concerned that this was so near our due date that they also picked a “plan B” groomsman. Nevertheless, I cried out to God and asked Him if I could go to the wedding and our church one last time before the birth. God was gracious and we were able to attend both! It was pretty close, though! I did my normal exercise routine that weekend, but my belly felt heavier (baby dropped?!), so I had to support it… Also, at the rehearsal dinner on the 21st, I had pain and had to walk around a bit... The wedding was beautiful. 
The photographer was intrigued with Maria’s and my sari, so we were heavily photographed! Derick and I enjoyed dancing at the reception (although I couldn’t kick up my heels for “Cotton-Eyed Joe”!) Church, also, was especially sweet. One lady asked if I was pregnant (you’re kidding!)! She figured she hadn’t noticed since Indian dresses hide it so well!
This is the Day (that the LORD has made)
I came home from my walk around 11:00 am Monday the 23rd of October. An issue of blood (the mucous plug) came loose. The bleeding continued… I was a bit alarmed, so called my OBGYN. I came in around 2:00 pm. My mom was with me and Derick also arrived. The doctor said my cervix had dilated to 9cm (the details are just a little fuzzy now) and she admitted me to the hospital (next door!). Thankfully, I had packed my hospital bag previously and had kept it in the car!
Around 3:00 pm, I was sitting comfortably in a labor and delivery room in a hospital gown with warm socks and an annoying IV stuck in my wrist.
The attending nurse was like a loud, but friendly grandmother-type! We immediately warmed to her and she proved to be a wealth of helpful information on... babies!! She asked if I’d eaten lunch. Thankfully, no, as the IV would help… I was mildly uncomfortable for some time as contractions were starting to come. They were coming more frequent, every 20 minutes or so when the doctor came by. She asked if my water had broken yet, no, it hadn’t. We had decided on going natural, so when she was suggesting breaking my water for me, I was opposed. Unfortunately at the time, Derick and mom had just stepped out, so I was without back up. She said that the membranes were pretty stretched already, so she broke the water. Afterwards, my contractions REALLY started!!!
Now I regretted not taking Lamaze as I had trouble breathing. Mom stepped in and had me follow her breathing for the duration! For some time, Derick had been typing something on the laptop. When he finished, he had me read “A Little Miracle”, a letter to our future child from us. Some of you have read it now, too. Needless to say, it was so beautiful I cried. What a blessing to have a husband who cherishes and longs for children! Here’s the letter in full:
A Little Miracle
Oh, what a joyful sensation, what bliss that adorns the news of this child that the Lord bequeaths unto us. It only draws me to my knees in prayer, thanking the Lord for this miracle, the miracle of life, of love and of parenthood
The breath of God in its nostrils, the hands formed by the very hands of the one who fashioned the universe, the feet that are going to be anointed to carry the message of God's love, the heart pumping the very lifeline of blood because of the our Saviour's unblemished blood offered on the tree, the lungs breathing the air of freedom that the Lord secured at the cross, the eyes reflecting the very enchantment that drew a smile on the creator's face, the eyes that first looked upon the Lord before anything, the eyes that will one day see the savior – appearing like the dawn, fair as the moon, bright as the sun. I consider the feet of this little angel that we pray one day would tread upon the streets of gold in the New Jerusalem, the ears of this blessing that will one day hear the trumpet call and be ready, ready to spring into the arms of the Saviour.
Even now as I hear the news that this fearfully and wonderfully made creation of God is beginning to emerge from its safe haven, as the eventide of its inevitable journey from within its mother to the outside world draws near, my soul beckons me to grasp this reality with the fullest sense of gratitude – knowing that my creator, my all in all, is the same one who is going to guide this bundle of joy thro the crests and troughs of this life.
Welcome little one – you are an unstoppable miracle!
From your Momma and Dada.
Derick later read Psalm 139 (a child knit in its mother’s womb…every day written out by God before any came to be… “I am fearfully and wonderfully made!”) He held my hand, fed, and gave me lots of water to drink. In India, husbands aren’t allowed in labor rooms, so this is an American tradition Derick enjoyed!
Pain and Our Saviour
Pain. “The problem of pain” (C.S. Lewis’ book). I wanted to know first-hand what every generation of woman has experienced. Eve, our first mother, was “cursed with pain in child-bearing” because she had disobeyed God. Derick read to me Paul’s words from the Bible directed towards women, “you shall be saved through childbearing.” Later, we discussed how we understood that verse on the Other side! This is a confusing passage, but what I learned was only in my death will life spring forth. Yes, the pain was so intense I felt like I was being ripped apart…to death. Then, gloriously, when the baby sprang forth from my body, the pain ended! When you search Holy Scripture, there are many references to childbearing. Paul, a man, said he was going through pangs like childbearing till Christ was formed in his followers. Centuries earlier, in Isaiah, God is pictured as gently leading those carrying young (captured beautifully in a soprano passage in Handel’s Messiah ). Jesus says in a parable that a seed of wheat must fall to the ground to die in order for a new plant to spring forth. Most importantly I am able to better identify with Christ in His “sufferings” that I might participate in His new life! Christ says he dies our death so that we can live His life. He also says we must be born-again to inherit the kingdom of heaven. Child-bearing is so profound that even “creation suffers as in pains of child-birth till the sons of God appear”! So, am I “saved” through childbearing? Yes, in the sense that I must die to myself and let Christ live in me. So, as baby Raja is our “first-fruit” as a Christian, I am also given the “fruit” of the Holy Spirit! The parallels of Scripture to my own life often astound me. I will always be a little child, learning things from my Father in heaven! What an awesome privilege to impart this to the next generation – this heaven-sent wisdom of the ages! Jesus, God’s beloved Son, sent to us, for us and wants to be with us and have us with Him in heaven one day! Ah, Home!
The Final Minutes before the "Its a Boy!"
As the pain increased, Derick said not to hold back but scream if I had to. I walked, sat, laid down. Nothing was comfortable. Then, I was standing and leaning on mom and just felt like I was that little girl again who runs to mommy for comfort after a fall or something. She was just breathing, deeply now, Sarah, okay, again… Around 8:30 pm, I felt like I couldn’t take the pain any longer, so asked for an epidural. The tech came in and explained all precautions for what seemed like forever. He installed the stint in my back and gave me a button to push to release medication as needed as I was so far along; he thought it too dangerous to administer a large dose. Well, some numbing came to my left leg just above the knee for some 6 inches, but nothing else as Raja was on his way! If only I had waited! I told the nurse, “I’m going to push now. I have to.” So, a flurry of activity occurred as delivery nurses came and prepared themselves. Still, no doctor. Grandma nurse (as we secretly called her) stood on one side, mom on the other, and Derick watching for baby. Grandma nurse said to push with all my might, hold it for 10 seconds, relax and do this three times in a row. I did this series three times and then the doctor magically appeared. The head was crowned, so she cut (epistiotomy) and I felt it (ouch! She scolded me for not doing the epidural sooner) and WHOOSH, the baby practically flew out! One nurse pressed hard on my belly, the placenta came then and I requested to see it. Wow! Derick watched amazed and when the doctor announced, “it’s a boy” the first thing we said was, “I knew it!” The doctor stitched me up (again, ouch!) and all the wiping, washing, and scurrying ensued. Before long, a bright-eyed, smiling baby boy was placed in my arms. 
Ah, what relief. What a miracle! Derick and I were both crying. It was 9:08 pm October 23rd, 2006. All in all, I was in labor for six hours.
Thanks be to God for his indescribable giftThe flurry of activity finally came to an end. Raja’s PKU test results came as 9 out of 10, his hearing seemed fine, and his nails needed cutting! He even suckled immediately! The doctor commented on his even skin tone, a beautiful golden tan! (Boy, I’m jealous!) He was 6 pounds 12 ounces and 21&1/2 inches long. He had dark hair and eyes. Thankfully Raja was with us in the room as there was no nursery. He didn’t cry for the first three days after his birth! Maria had prepared yummy Indian food, so mom and dad could also eat in the room with us and later my brother, Nate and his family. We had a pastor friend and other Indian friends visit us in the hopital. After the first day, we were moved to a tiny overflow room, as our room was needed. The temperature was unregulated, either blasting cold or hot air respectively. Derick, the ingenious engineer, put a fitted bed sheet in the ceiling tile, catching the air from the vent so not to directly hit the baby. On our bed, we imagined we were in a small sailboat! Nurses commented and we enjoyed!
Post-partum Happiness
Post-partum depression? I almost expected it, given past medical history… Yes, the hormone level dropped immediately after the birth. I was shaking violently, feeling cold one minute and hot the next. Mom, the ever-faithful home-remedy guru, gave me a large mug of herbal tea especially for this and miraculously, my body relaxed immediately! We kept this secret from the nurse (you never know what the medical community will say about homeopathic remedies!). Emotional/tears? Yes. Just the thought of all my new responsibilities coupled with the miracle of life kept (and still keeps!) me emotional at times! I can thank God for an incredible support group, though, through my family and friends! Family and the sense of family is key to keeping perspective…sanity! Derick and Maria
haven’t heard of post-partum depression in India. Amazing, huh? We’ve discussed this at length and figure it must be so rampant in America due to isolation mainly. As I’ve stated before, independence, personal “rights”, personal space… What can be seen as America’s greatest strength can also be her greatest weakness. Also, fractured family life seems to contribute to a sense of isolation.A Joyous Homecoming
When finally we brought David Raja home,
it was a surreal feeling. Arriving at our house 10:30 pm 0n the 25th, walking inside, lights and candles, mom and Maria, food placed on the table…bringing the baby HOME. I can honestly say it felt like NOW my house was complete as HOME! 
The next six weeks are a blur. I took my sister-in-law, Juliana’s advice and never left the house with the baby during these weeks. Something about the developing immune system for baby. It didn’t stop curious visitors from coming. Little Raja has been popular from the start. In his first week of life, four different pastors 
came and blessed him! A significant gift was from Pastor Valdex, a Brazilian brother, a gift of $33, each dollar a year of Jesus’ earthly life! Pastor Sittema’s 
visit prompted a song (we often subject our guests to our music) in Tamil (Derick’s mother tongue) entitled, Yejemananae, talking of Jesus, our Master and King. Dr. Sittema suggested we sing it at Raja’s upcoming baptism since the song included his name, as our tribute and prayer for our son.Raja's Baptism
The baptism was a wonderful memory for our family and friends. In India, Raja’s cousins, Melvin and Alvin, were celebrating a similar event the same day! We sent out e-invitations to our computer-savvy friends and I made lots of phone calls. Thankfully, as it was the end of Thanksgiving weekend, my whole family was in town and 99% of our guest list attended. Well, at least attended the luncheon after church. Dad was honoured to perform the baptism
at our church, the happy grandpa who has baptized ALL his grandchildren (5 thus far)! Pastor Sittema gave us time early in the service so mom and dad could race across the river for dad’s church service where he was preaching. Most all of our family and a few friends dressed in Indian clothes for the baptism. We all stood together at the front of the church, like a multi-colored flowerbed! After the ceremony of baptism, Derick and I sang our Tamil song, with Derick also on guitar. 
We had the English translation on the overhead so the congregation would understand the meaning of the song. Everything was so surreal and joyful, as if we were in heaven with the blessing of God on our heads! It was baby and my first time back to church after our 6 weeks of “solitude”. What a joy to be back and for such an occasion! Our family and friends were also blessed with a wonderful sermon as well. I remember one story in particular. A friend (father-in-law?) of Pastor Sittema was incredibly wealthy. As an unbeliever, he took great pride in his costly possessions. After he was born again, his perspective altered as the Spirit always gives us God’s perspective when we follow Him! He began to see his wealth NOT as his own, but as God’s blessing. One day a friend was called over, as he wanted to gift him his favorite, very expensive car. He was excited like a child when he began showing his friend his car’s unique capabilities. When his friend left with the car, he was joyfully smiling. Soon thereafter, this man of great wealth lost everything. He could then only afford a one- room apartment… Did he lash out angrily at God for his circumstances? No, rather he rejoiced! His security wasn’t to be found in any possession except his relationship to his loving Father in heaven! He knew from experience that “if a man gains the whole world yet loses his soul” it would be a worse death than a pauper’s death! After the service, Maria had prepared a full Indian buffet lunch at our house! I think we had around 50 guests! What a privilege to celebrate our son’s baptism with friends and family!The Story Begins
I will end this chapter of Raja’s story now. I could mention his first trip
to the beach, to Atlanta, his first smile or laugh. But, this is a time of many firsts for all of us even as parents. We just pray that David Raja will be as King David in the Bible – a man after God’s own heart. We pray he will become a servant-leader, humbly submitting himself to his Father in heaven and gladly serving others. He has many admirers already, but we hope they come to admire him for his godly character... Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
2 comments:
Great blog. Very inspirational.
Thank you for writing from the heart! It was so wonderful to read about the events surrounding the birth of little Raja. You all are role-models for Mike & I as we think of having kids someday!
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